Welcome to the Laurence Simons Newsletter

2012 is off to a great start for Laurence Simons and we are pleased to announce four new appointments: Guy Adams in London (Director of our European Private Practice division), Gerry Arbuckle in London (Senior Consultant in our UK Partners team), Ben Cockram in Dubai (Senior Consultant) and Gary Weiss in New York (Senior Consultant) - all bring with them a wealth of knowledge and expertise.

We have also launched our global legal salary survey and market trend report to which we have been astounded by the interest it has generated from legal professionals across the globe (It has already been downloaded by circa 40,000 professionals worldwide), as well as receiving media coverage in The Times, The Financial Times, The Mirror and City AM just to name a few.

If you are yet to receive a copy of the report and would like one, click here.

February brings the start of bonus payouts and I thought I would share with you some global statistics from 2011: 

    - 72% received a bonus 
    - 83% were paid their bonus in cash 
    - 41% received an increase in bonus from the previous year 
    - As a % of their annual salaries, 26% received between 10% and 19% in bonus 
    - 59% were satisfied with their bonus

I would be interested to hear your views on bonus expectations for 2012 and would appreciate your participation in the following poll:

Click here to take part in bonus expectation poll

Lawyers under fire

Airport hand luggage regulations can be a pain in the proverbial. We've all lost countless cosmetics at the extremely cautious hands of airport staff, whether it's because our perfume is 5ml over the liquid limit or because it's not been placed in the requisite plastic bag.

This has definitely happened to all of us at least once, but how many of us lawyers have boarded a flight accidentally carrying a pistol? Yes, that's right - only one of us. Take a bow please Judith Kenney, 65 year-old lawyer and hapless firearm bearer.

Kenney unwittingly passed through security with a loaded .38 calibre hand gun in her luggage and while many around her were relieved of their threatening face creams and deodorants, security failed to notice the weapon, and having collected her bag from the scanning tray, she wandered off into the crowds.

Moments later security clocked the offending item on the scanner screen and hit the alarm sending airport staff into a frenzy and a terminal wide lockdown was declared.

However, no suitable image of the suspect was on hand and so the business and corporate specialist was able to board her flight.

In what was no doubt exactly like a scene from one of the Die Hard movies or 24, having eventually tracked down their target, cops raced to the now runway bound jet and pulled the damn thing over just before the pilot opened its engines and roared into the sky.

Needless to say Kenney was pretty embarrassed by the ordeal and got on the phone pretty sharpish to her own lawyer as this crime can carry a ten year sentence in Texas.

The US Transportation Security Administration are likely to be the ones left truly red-faced, though, as this is the second serious misdemeanour to crop up in the last month after a soldier boarded a plane with a bag full of highly explosive C4 on December 31st. Not a bad effort from Kenney you'll agree.

Global legal bonuses up by 32 per cent

While 2011 was indeed a challenging year for many sectors, it seems that the legal profession has performed well with bonuses in firms throughout the world averaging 32 per cent at the end of last year, according to our research.

This is a hugely positive sign for our industry and given that bonus payouts stood at just 25 per cent of salaries last year, the outlook for 2012 looks increasingly promising.

The average legal bonus stood at $54,700 in 2011 with 72 per cent of lawyers across the globe receiving a bonus payment. Average basic salaries rose to $201,000.

Lawyers in Brazil are now taking home salaries of $279,600 – 21 per cent higher than the average of $231,500 in the US – and in Dubai, the average salary has reached $181,800.

It's hardly surprising that with salaries and bonuses on the up lawyers feel their positions are safe. Indeed, our research shows that 86.5 per cent surveyed felt their job was secure and less than 15 per cent saw a reduction in headcount in their offices. 67.5 per cent said they would consider moving to another country for work if they found a role that could tempt them into upping sticks.

Interestingly enough, women would consider a move if a salary rise of 13 per cent was on the table, but men would only be ready to pack their bags if promised a 19.2 per cent increase in wage.

The market in emerging economies – particularly the BRIC countries is experiencing strong growth. Only a month after Brazil overtook the UK as the world’s 6th largest economy, this research shows lawyers can expect $98,600 more working there than in the UK. In the UAE, when you factor in the fact Dubai residents don't pay income tax, take-home pay of $181,800 is highly competitive globally. No wonder two thirds of lawyers would be prepared to move abroad for the right position.

Court room shmourt room

The week after Christmas can be pretty trying on even the most upbeat of people. You've spent the last few days marinating yourself in booze and stuffing yourself on various meats within meats and all sorts of gut-bulging goodies.

And then it's back to work, back to the slog. You tell your colleagues that "Christmas isn't really a break. It's all family and catch ups and that you need an actual break now - a real chance to relax."

That post-Christmas can't-be-bothered attitude might have gone some way to explaining the behaviour of members of the Crown Prosecution Service in a domestic assault case in January.

During proceedings the judge had to ask the prosecution exactly who was involved in the case after the official court documents referred to the victim as "blah blah" and the crime as "yakkity schmakitty".

Emma Birt, of the Crown Prosecution Service, no doubt hoped a thingy ma jiggy would open up in the whadyamacallit and do, like, whatever to her after the judge read out: "On 29th October, knowing or believing that blah, blah, blah was assisting in an investigation, did an act, namely yakkity schmakitty, intended to intimidate blah, blah, blah."

Judge Francis Gilbert QC, urged the CPS to take its work more seriously in the future and the CPS replied with a statement blaming the mix up on a clerical error, shmerror.

Oh say can you sue!

National anthems: age old theme songs for nations that few people really know all the words to. Yes, there are some well-versed patriots among us that can bellow along at sport events and no doubt well up at the rousing crescendo that seems to wrap up every nation's anthem, but they're in the minority.

And while not knowing the words is all well and good for us normals, a string of botched versions of the United States' anthem by high profile celebrities has seen State Senator Vaneta Becker call for a $25 fine to be slapped on those who get the words wrong.

Vaneta was so enraged by Christina Aguilera's mangling of the anthem at the Super Bowl Final that she dashed away during the extended ad break to quickly draft up a Anthem Protection Bill, of sorts, that would see performers having to agree to rigorous performance standards or else face a cash penalty. It's quite a contemporary approach to tradition protection and one that should perhaps be rolled out on the various TV talent shows, which seem to encourage the slaughtering of much-loved songs.

Sadly, the bill doubtless stuck in a regulatory logjam in the Senate, which is currently backed up with some fuss about cracking down on digital pirates. US artists would perhaps not be so eager to step up and sing in future if they could end a song with less in their wallet than when they started, but they should just be thankful they don't have to remember all 158 verses of the Greek national anthem. Mind you, imposing fines on that lengthy number might have helped the government rake in some extra cash of late.

Mediation's what you need

While many people resolve to get less fat or be less drunk in the new year, many couples unfortunately decide to be less together and look to divorce or separate.

Indeed, Britain's Directgov online hub registers much higher search rates for 'divorce' at this time of year.

But according to UK Justice Minister Jonathan Djanogly, we should be looking to encourage a culture of mediation among couples and dump the notion that divorce is the best solution.

Many family lawyers both here and in countries like America have adopted mediation as an alternative method of making the matter of settling future family arrangements much simpler.

Mr Djanogly said: "Mediation is a quicker, cheaper and more amicable alternative, particularly where children are concerned as it gives parents the skills they need to think about the best interests of the child – not just in the short term, but for the future too.'

The government has already increased spending on mediation for family disputes by two thirds, or £10 million, to £25 million each year, to allow separating couples to mediate.

But many lawyers have argued that heavy reliance on mediation when couples separate will punish those with abusive or uncooperative partners.

It's a tough one to call, but 2012 is likely to be an interesting year for family law with many predicting mediation will boom.

Mounted lawyer defeats policeman on legal technicality

We'll round up this month's newsletter with a funny little number about a curious incident between a policeman and a legally astute cyclist.

The incident was caught on the lawyer cyclist's head cam and shows the rider being approached by a policeman, who claims he has committed a road offence. PC Stout has pulled the cyclist over on London's Edgware Road, but our learned friend on two wheels is not ready to go down without a fight and refuses to give his details to the policeman.

It's an impressive roadside rebuttal and has, unsurprisingly, made its way on to YouTube, racking up countless views. And while it's no Fenton Goes Wild, it's certainly worth a watch.

Click here to view this clip